SFBC Biker Bulletin
April 1, 2008
April 1, 2008
"Drivers agree to stop calling all cyclists 'Lance Armstrong.' In exchange, cyclists agree not to get all self-righteous and 'green' during altercations with drivers. This includes: lecturing the driver on his or her vehicle's gas mileage; and blaming the driver for yesterday's unseasonable cold spell or for global warming-related polar bear drowning deaths."
--Treaty Between Cyclists and Drivers, Bike Snob NYC, March 25, 2008
Table of Contents
Things getting too serious?
Dark side of Moon gets first bike lanes, lunar pavement "less shattered than Valencia St."
Intergalactic Highway Services presided over a ribbon-cutting many say is decades overdue as the Moon's dark side greeted its first stretch of bicycle lane, closing an important gap in the route between Tranquility Base and the Cheese Factory. Roadway surface is surprisingly good, not quite as shattered and cratered as SF's Valencia St. or Arguello Blvd. Department of Public Works staff is planning a research trip to visit this lunar bike lane to see how it's done.
Seriously . . . Want to help closer to home? Join the Good Roads Campaign on April 19th and send your message to the city that our streets need to be less pocked than the moon's surface!
Chevron Sponsors Polar Bear Dunk for Earth Day
To demonstrate their commitment to a green, sustainable future, Chevron will host a Polar Bear dunking booth at the Earth Day celebration in McLaren Park, along with their Change-a-Lightbulb-Win-a-Hummer game.
Seriously... We really do need lots of volunteer help at upcoming Earth Day events.
Rusty Chain Awards go to Judge Busch and SF Chronicle
With growing awareness of the threat of global warming and a public health crisis stemming from over-reliance on automobiles, two local champions of non-sustainable living will be "honored" with our Rusty Chain Awards this Spring. Our first award goes to Superior Court Judge Peter Busch, who issued an environmentally-based injunction against the City's Bicycle Plan, thereby stalling bicycling improvements that are expected to turn tens of thousands of more people onto the, healthy no-pollute commute. And our second award goes to the SF Chronicle for its bizarre and morally sad coverage of the "dangers" (and plain ol' irresponsibility) of bicycling in light of the tragic deaths in Cupertino, in which no bicyclists were behaving dangerously or irresponsibly. We tip our helmets off to you, Chron for totally missing the point in your coverage.
Seriously . . . the SFBC is thrilled to honor true local heroes of green, sustainable living at our annual Golden Wheel awards party on Tuesday, April 29th. Check out all the details and buy your ticket here.
Study: Cycling commuters more likely to prosper, get laid
People who ride a bicycle to work are 5 times more likely to be promoted and receive a big raise than their colleagues who commute by other means, a study released today shows. According to research published by the Institute on Serious Matters, bicycle commuters enjoy striking advantages not only in their business lives, but also tend to attract hot people of all genders and are 8 times as likely as non-cyclists to enjoy rewarding sexual relations. Even more striking is the benefit to those who volunteer for the SFBC: the study found that cyclists who give their time to the cause are blessed many times over . . .
Seriously . . . Get involved in Bike to Work Day 2008:
de Young Museum opens new drive-through galleries
Visitors to the M.H. de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park will soon be able to enjoy great artworks from the comfort of their own cars and light trucks. Further extending the cultural missionary work and accessibility of this benevolent institution, ramps and driveways will provide convenient vehicular access to several new galleries. "We know that San Francisco families really thrive in their cars, so we're proud to serve these families better, without making them actually walk around," said Susan Valveknocker, de Young spokesperson. The gift shop is also being updated for drive-through convenience and service to the community.
Seriously . . . Come out with your family to the park this Saturday for the season's first Healthy Saturday! Celebrate safe car-free space on JFK Drive -- enjoy fun bike-y family activities, including the SFBC's Freedom From Training Wheels and a Bike Road-eo course that teaches two-wheelers with and without training wheels basic bike skills. Free!
Bikes banned at Market/Octavia, non-auto traffic to magically fly over dangerous intersection
Saying "it's just too darn hard" to find a way for bicyclists and pedestrians to travel safely through the Market/Octavia intersection, State Senator Leland Yee called for people biking and walking to be banned and, instead, to "magically take flight...for the sake of their own safety and for the convenience of people driving super-fast on and off of the freeway." Well, no, Yee didn't really say that, but he is holding up plans to improve safety at the intersection, read on....
Seriously...Assembly Bill 23, the bill that will allow for camera enforcement of drivers making the illegal right turn at Market Octavia, got stuck in the State Senate Transportation Committee last week. Senator Yee voted against AB 23, but fortunately the bill will be up for another vote in the coming weeks. Let Senator Yee's office know that a safe Market Octavia intersection is critical for bicycle safety in San Francisco! AB 23 is our best hope for preventing the collisions which continue to injure cyclists traveling down San Francisco's main street. Call Yee's office and let him know: (916) 651-4008.
Area man emerges from cellar, sees bikes everywhere
The man who sued to stop the City's Bicycle Plan announced today that the whole thing may all just be a big misunderstanding. Rod Undercount, devout flat-earther and lemon-sucker, told assembled reporters that he was "pretty embarrassed" to have stopped bicycle safety and circulation improvements for nearly two years. "I had no idea there were so many people actually riding bikes, for so many different reasons," Undercount said. "I've been locked away in my cellar blogging, without actually looking at bicycle traffic on the streets. Damn, there are a lot of bikes out here!"
Seriously . . . Have you taken the SF Bike Survey? Got an opinion about bicycling in San Francisco? Pipe up and weigh in online. The results of this survey will go into the 2008 Report Card on Bicycling in San Francisco, a critique and almanac of the state of cycling in our fine city, to be published on Bike to Work Day (May 15). Click over and take the survey now! And pass it on to other bicycling friends.
Other April Fools News: